Tag Archives: Body Mind Spirit

Intuition: The Two Paths of Awareness

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untitled (2) mindDeepening our Intuition leads us down some magnificent pathways toward the inner sanctum of our Sacred Self. Having dialogue with our Intuition empowers us and steers our lives toward deeper meaning. We learn to accept that not everything communicated has words. Then we can remain open to other ways of being. Learning to trust our Intuition gives us the freedom to be comfortable with the unexplainable. When we embrace our intuition, we accept there’s a universally complex language within all of us and that subjectivity is okay.

This sensing language is the language of the Soul. The dialogue involves colors, energy, emotions or perceptions.When we meditate or dream, forms come to us that the conscious Mind struggles to interpret. Jung referred to this communication as the “intuitive idea that cannot be formulated in any other or better way” than through the use of these symbols. This language is also spoken with our body energy through our etheric field. If we learn to manage our energy, we can find a new way of heightening our engagement with our world and the people in it.

Intuitive knowing is slower on one level, yet faster on another. We may sense something immediately, but not be able to describe or understand it right away. Jung describes this journey as;

…something which can scarcely be described in words. It can only be experienced. It is a subjective affair quite beyond discussion; we have a particular feeling about ourselves , about the way we are, and that is a fact which it is neither possible nor meaningful to doubt.

Intellectualizing doesn’t work with intuiting. Mind wants things organized in neat Microsoft files that can be corroborated by the outside world. A process that’s laughable to Soul.

There are two ways of using our Intuition. The first is by developing our “sixth sense”. This is what we use when interacting with people and situations. Sixth sense intuiting uses instinct as its driver. It helps us sense things like knowing when someone is lying or deciding if a new job is right for us. This sixth sense intuiting deepens how we interact beyond sight, sound, touch, taste and smell. We can develop this through learning energy work including the clearing and managing of our chakras. Reiki work helps us develop this sensitivity as well. Stillness in our own agendas is important in this process. How many times have you ignored something that you had a strong sense of because you didn’t want to believe it?

This use of etheric energy is also how we heal emotional wounds. While it’s not the only tool, but it’s one of many powerful ones. Rebalancing your chakras allows for physical, emotional and psychological flow. When we shut off aspects of our Self, we shut off some of their associated energy centers. Drawing from universal power and opening up to an infinite source of light, heightens our sensitivity. Our source of body energy is limited, but when we tap into the Higher Source, we can manifest a whole new way of living.

The other way of intuiting is through psychic or mystical engagement with our inner world that also connects to our Higher Source. To intuit in this way, we need to allow the images we receive through meditation to just be. This gives us an opportunity to connect deeper with the information we’re given. The language of the Angels and Higher Spirit is through symbols and form. These have few references in our verbal and written language.

Making the sacred space for this intuiting helps facilitate a quiet container. For me, I like a softly scented candle, since scent – while it’s a fifth sense – links us to our deeper awareness. Using a journal is also important since we can write or sketch the images that come to us. If you’re clairaudient, you may hear words in your head, similar to when we hear the lyrics of a song. Writing those down and allowing them to just be, is part of the process. Dreams are also integral to intuiting. They’re wrought with symbols that drive our waking Mind crazy since it cannot fit them into that Microsoft file. But, if you write down what you remember, over time, you’ll see a pattern emerge. This pattern, whether through dreams or meditation, will speak to you and guide you.

Many times what we get is not so much an answer, but confirmation. This confirmation can occur as an inner knowing or something outside of ourselves. The answer may come in the form of a conversation that happens later in the day, or a recurring theme you keep experiencing as you lead your daily life. As part of confirming, we can ask; What is this image, color, energy or sensation that’s being presented to me? Another approach is to ask, what does this mean to me? How do I feel when I see this symbol or experience this information? If we’re open to the messages, all will be revealed in time. Be patient, since when we’re intuiting new information and mystical experiences, we have few if any previous references.

The largest block to intuiting well is ego. While ego is an important mechanism in the development of our Sacred Selves, it can go awry if we’re not aware of how Mind loves to put up defenses. A neurotic ego may want to shape the information to accommodate its insecurities. Keeping our Mind still keeps it out of the intuiting process and this keeps us from developing inflated illusions about ourselves and what we’re doing. This takes practice and a willingness to examine those undeveloped shadow sides we refuse to address in ourselves.

This process is a journey with no end goal other than to know ourselves deeper. Using our intuition as a vehicle to help us maneuver life’s passageways is a way to draw us closer in to the light and wisdom we already possess. It’s a pathway to bring us home again to what we already know. ~ Cheryl Lewallen, M.Ed., LPC

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Emotion: Reconnection to Feelings

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Embracing your feelings and treating them with loving kindness is the first step on the journey toward psychological and spiritual wholeness. When you use your feelings effectively, they work like a compass, directing you where you need to go. You tap into your navigation system and this allows you to manage your life. Yet, for some of us, that compass appears short-circuited. The needle feels stuck in one direction even though you know you need to head in another. For others, the needle seems out-of-order, unable to pick up any polar energy that could point you to a place other than where you currently are. When your directional process isn’t working, it feels frustrating and overwhelming.

The main reason we become disconnected from our feelings is because of fear. Some people have been trained to shut their feelings down because they’ve been hurt or traumatized in childhood. They associate love and connection with pain. Others may have been mocked and demeaned – this particularly happens with boys – because they expressed their feelings and were told they were weak. We can dissociate from our feelings for less traumatic reasons, too. When we spend much of our lives attempting to please others, we’re not self-focused enough to know our own needs. Another way we sever our connection to true feelings is when we work really hard to cultivate an image and deny our authenticity. Regardless of how it happened, if we’re cut off from our feelings, we’ve cut ourselves off from our humanity. This is how anxiety and depression start.

In his book, How to Be an Adult, David Richo calls this state of disconnection neurotic fear. Neuroses is a psychological term that goes back to Freud. It’s an overarching description that basically means uncertainty in our sense of Self. Richo states that this neurotic fear is an indicator that we have not maturely integrated all aspects of who we are. “Fear is the opposite of love,” he writes, “because it is totally conditional. It keeps us out of the water; it excludes. Love is all-inclusive. To say that love casts out fear is to say that unconditional and conscious integration has triumphed over ignorance and inhibition.”

The basis of addiction and other destructive behavior comes from a fear of feelings. People who have suffered trauma have a hard time connecting love with peace. They misconstrue the ferocity of their experiences for feelings. They become numb on one hand, yet seeking intensity through drugs, sex, dangerous experiences, abusive relationships on the other hand. Intensity is a high. It’s an adrenaline rush. It’s not feeling.

Feelings are so much more. They’re deeper, yet more subtle. They’re like colors. They’re the energy of warmth, pulsation, friction and calm. We must allow ourselves the experience all of these colors and energies in order to be fully alive and integrated with Self. If we deny ourselves the so-called uncomfortable sensations of sadness, loss or anger, we’re also leaving out happiness, joy, and peace. Feelings are a package deal.

It’s important to begin a dialogue with our feelings. Listening deeply and embracing our own truth is the most freeing experience we can have. Within the complexity of our feelings is great splendor. It’s the Yellow Brick Road, the Hero’s Journey of life. We may not know exactly where we’re going, but we need to trust that the journey will get us there if we just put one foot in front of the other. Journaling, the use of art, talking it out or just sitting and allowing the sensation of the feeling to run through us are several ways to process these feelings. Combining all of these techniques to reconnect are the best ways. Some people are more tactile and need to process physically (dance, exercise, walks in the woods). Some need to use image (finger painting or other creative endeavors), some need to verbalize (talking it out with friends or therapists) and some need to understand what they are feeling on an intuitive level before they can share (journaling, reading self-help books or art).

Like energy, feelings need to move. Even to sit in stillness and allow the sensation of the feeling to work through our bodies and to determine where we feel this sensation, is movement. Some fear if they do this they’ll explode. That’s not the case. You can only “explode” when pressure is applied. And when we stuff feelings down into a proverbial sack by ignoring them, we’re creating pressure for ourselves that will generate depression or anxiety. Finding the best way for you to flow, for you to identify and feel the sensations of what you’re feeling, will help you reintegrate and reclaim the sacredness that is your Self. ~ Cheryl Lewallen, M.Ed, LPC

Artwork by Deborah Koff-Chapin

Creativity: the Essence of our Soul

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birds-in-a-heart-tree

Creativity is the ability to be authentic through intentional output. All spirits are creative. Just watch children at play. They indulge in their imagination and are happiest when they’re doing it. Creativity is the engine that drives us. It’s the soul of universal power. The universe itself was not devised through molecules and atoms but a magnificent process that goes beyond anything we can imagine in our human form. 

Allowing ourselves to be Creative is allowing the engagement in a process that leads us to our Soul. Through creating, we’re in constant flux between the deepest aspects of Self as we negotiate and understand the reality of our outside world. As Rollo May states in his book, The Courage to Create, the creative process is “the act of actualizing”. Purposeful engagement with what we’re doing gives us this connection. Losing ourselves in the process is the deeper engagement with our Soul. There we feel joy.

We think of Creativity only as projects, but it’s so much more. It shows itself even in the more mundane parts of our lives. Creativity is manifestation and we manifest everything. It’s our creative process that shapes how we live. When we make choices and follow through, we’re participating in a creative process. When we speak, we manifest. When we choose to act – or not act – we’re manifesting the conditions of our world. Think about it. When we talk negatively about people, we get similar treatment in return. When we decide to shut people out of our lives, we eventually manifest isolation for ourselves. On the flip side, when we send out loving kindness, we get loving kindness in return.

Creativity requires being in the moment, like getting up and dancing because our heart fills with a need to express itself. To run, jump, crack a joke, laugh, be with friends. Presence is the touchstone of Creativity and this is the beginning of the path back toward your Higher Self. It’s also the sharing our Higher Self with others.

Those who trust their Creativity reach deeply into themselves and allow an internal dialogue to occur. They may not understand the outcome but they accept the journey. They enter into the engagement like a traveler enters into a new country, with humble acceptance and a willingness to engage just for the sake of expanding their experiences. When we expand our experiences we feel an intensity of emotion and a heightened vitality. We feel alive and connected in new ways. We feel connection with our Soul.

Empathy: the Connecting of Souls

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images4 Empathy is the pinnacle of existence. It’s a full connection to others without attempting to alter their reality or have them change yours. Empathy requires being aware of and present to another’s reality. In order to do this, we must be “cracked open”. We must know ourselves through developing inner awareness. Our souls must lead and our egos shelved.

Empathy, by way of definition, is not sympathy. Sympathy distances us from others. When we sympathize with someone, we feel sorry for them. We’re damn glad we’re not in their suffering shoes. When we sympathize, we try to fix them or tell them what to do. Sympathy makes us feel better. There’s a judgment to sympathy that empathy doesn’t have. Which is why empathy takes a lot more work. Empathy takes being present without a verdict or opinion. It takes slowing down to listen.

One of the most majestic gifts in life is to hear and be heard. That’s the essence of love. Love Thy Neighbor means to accept those around you even when you disagree with them. As history has proven, this is probably one of the hardest acts to perform.

Unlike sympathy, empathy has boundaries to it. We don’t have to take people we would rather not be around into our home just to prove to ourselves – or others – that we’re kind. We don’t need to take on another person’s values or opinions to let them know we’ve heard them. We also don’t have to “fight back” and let them know they’re wrong for not seeing it our way. Then we’re pushing against their boundaries. Slowing down enough to understand doesn’t require loosening our psyches, changing our beliefs or allowing them to hurt us.

One of the hardest things for me to do was to move to a very conservative part of the country. I spent years internally rolling my eyes and judging those who didn’t seem to “get it”. Yet, when I took the time to listen – really listen – without enforcing my more progressive views, I found an interesting thing happening to me. I softened. I still didn’t agree with many people I talked to, but I realized people are going to believe what they want to believe and I found peace in that. After a while, I felt comfortable enough within my own self not to get upset. And miracle or all miracles, when opinions were labeled by us, we actually found some common ground. I learned to like people for who they were, not what they believed in. I learned that I could honor their beliefs and still maintain my own. If I was going to really be the person I saw myself being, I had to accept everyone as they are. I needed to stop judging. I needed to start accepting.

If I drew a linear scale that showed degrees of empathy, the least amount would be to tolerate others, the middle would be to affirm them, the most would be to honor them. Tolerating others is a good place to start. It’s acceptance with an effort not to judge.

Sometimes it’s hardest to apply empathy to family members or close friends. We have expectations of what our family members should do, be, act, or think. We know their foibles and vulnerabilities. The closer we are to someone, the higher our hopes are of them. Certainly the less tolerant we become when they don’t hit that raised bar we’ve imposed.

When we’re not careful, our egoic self sees family as a reflection of us. When we have unresolved issues, unaccomplished dreams, we place them on our children. Even our friends get the brunt of the shadow sides we would rather forget about. When we displace our discomfort onto them as blame we have lost our ability to be present and empathize.

Slowing down to listen to our children without inserting our own views can be our greatest challenge. It can also be our greatest gift to them. They will feel heard and they will learn the act of empathy through your modeling of it.

So, how do we become more empathetic?

Imagine being present for your wife without trying to tell her how to fix the relationship with her angry boss? When you listen to the words and notice her body language, you can develop a deeper connection with her. As you do this, you may see her emotions in a new way. Reflect back to her, “I see you are very hurt by what he said to you today” . Sounds pretty obvious. She might give you a big “duh” response at first, yet you might also see her soften and relax. You just indicated that you heard her. What you’ve just done is honor feelings that she felt have been dismissed by her boss

The second part of this is to also notice your feelings and reactions to seeing your wife upset. What does this bring up for you? An urge to rush to her side and stop the pain? An urge to rush to your man cave? It’s okay to sit in your own discomfort as you make yourself present to her. I promise, your anxiety won’t rupture your spleen. In fact, it may decrease as you stay open and present in the conversation.

What would listening to your child’s hopes and dreams look like without trying to enforce your own expectations onto him or her? How would you be if your husband came home and started to cry? What if, the next time a friend drives you crazy with what you perceive as one of her issues, you ask yourself, “what in them reflects my own unexamined problems?”.

Be present, be patient, be available to listen.

The Inner Boundaries of Emotion

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Here  No matter how close we are physically or psychologically to someone, we have our own sense of what we feel and think. Our loved ones cannot feel what we feel, nor can we feel for them. Nor are we responsible for their feelings and what they choose to do with them.

This seems to surprise many of my clients when the subject comes up in our sessions. Who can blame them for the confusion when we’ve grown up with phrases like, “Two hearts become one”, or “Separate now whole”? We can buy necklaces with two halves of a heart that snap together to make a whole heart. Even in parenting, we tend to forget that this child we conceived and raised is actually a separate human being who’ll have his or her own worldview that might not reflect our own.

When we try to be “one person” in relationships, we’re decimating our wholeness. When we give up our beliefs, pleasures, emotions, likes and even dislikes to fit like a puzzle piece into another’s world, we don’t make us or the relationship stronger – we actually weaken it. When our children express an opinion that’s different from ours, this does not mean they’re rejecting us as people. We don’t have to hand over our identity to please someone and we don’t have to diminish another’s inner world to keep them close to us.

It’s our wholeness that creates true intimacy. It’s the engagement of sharing our own reality with another that’s fulfilling. It’s being present to understanding another’s reality that bonds people. Sharing what you feel and listening to what your loved one feels takes effort, intention and time. In order to be present for another, we must want to be present. This very act of slowing down validates your loved one. When we’re listening without judgment and without forcing our own views into the moment, what we’re saying through our actions is “You’re important to me”.

This simple process of being present and listening to another is true intimacy.